Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
