You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
where are my eyebrows?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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