i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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