ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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