Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
