didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Need sex. Gaining weight.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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