i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
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