How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
