Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
