if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
