I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
