No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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