He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
