the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
