addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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