can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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