you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
did i just pee glitter
Randomize
