after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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