where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize