Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
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