I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
