Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
