I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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