He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
