He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
