.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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