just tell him i said nine months
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
