I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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