he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
