the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Randomize