All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
