Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i may or may not be watching the land before time
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
