so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
