you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
