he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Boobs speak an international language.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Randomize