see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Randomize
