who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
