omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
There's even glitter on my cock...
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