as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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