Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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