No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
And then he peed in my hair
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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