guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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