I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
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