kristin has been a bad kristin
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
