I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Randomize
