I love having hate sex.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Randomize
