Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Randomize