He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
