i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
