Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
You need Xanax blowdarts
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
