I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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