I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize