New low: just hacked my moms facebook
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
You're a waste of cheezeits
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
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