every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
