From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
