he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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