it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
It was like giving head to a cactus.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I have feelings that need drinking.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
