You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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