so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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