I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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