you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
