His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
