Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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